In Australia and South Africa it was over the Christmas and new year period and in the West Indies it

In Australia and South Africa it was over the Christmas and new year period, and in the West Indies it was during the Barbados and Antigua Test matches. And, for reasons that escape me, the girls tended to stay at home when England toured Asia. But to visit during any other period than those mentioned was generally frowned upon.Flying your partner was an expensive adventure because all the travelling supporters wanted to be at the same destination, and the players shared rooms. If your partner visited you during the three months you were away from home, you had to pay their air fare and fork out for an extra room for the team-mate.This all changed on England’s 1996-97 tour of Zimbabwe. Medha Laud, the England team administrator – there would have been anarchy without her during the Nineties – did what she could for us but she was given little scope.On each tour, there was a two-week period where families were invited to travel. When I first toured with England, the ECB did very little for a player’s family.

They watch you on television and everything looks very exotic. The cameras zoom in on pretty girls in the crowd and they wonder what you are up to in the evenings while they do the ironing and try to get the children to complete their homework.Thankfully, the England and Wales Cricket Board is far more sympathetic to these issues than it used to be, and families are welcomed. They have experienced the five-star hotels, the decent expenses, the eating out at a fancy restaurant, or room service brought to your door every evening And naturally they envy it. International cricketers, quite rightly, get well looked after In fact, they get spoilt rotten. Everything is done for them.The wife/girlfriend/partner is aware of this as they sit at home on their own raising a family.

How many people are prepared to spend that much time away from their loved ones each winter? Some – Mark Butcher – enjoy touring; others – Stephen Harmison – count down the days.Touring, however, is much easier for the players than the partners they leave behind. And the demands on the players keep rising as boards attempt to raise more and more money.The players selected for both the Test and one-day squads in Pakistan will not see any member of their family for eight weeks, and most will be away for the same period of time in February, March and April when England tour India. But he does not owe anybody anything, and choosing to miss one or two games in a 10-year career can hardly be described as a dereliction of duty.Those of us who played for England for a reasonable period of time know how fortunate we have been, but it does not mean that we have not made sacrifices along the way. I am thankful the line has never been, and will never be, thrown in my direction.Strauss will probably play more than 250 games of cricket for England. The game will reward him and his family well for his service, and should England carry on winning he could be set up for life when he retires in seven or eight years.He is aware that he is in a privileged position, and that by going home he could jeopardise his place in the side. What weight would my opinion carry if a disagreement about what is right or wrong for one of our children took place?It would only be a matter of time before the cutting and argument-ending remark, “Well, you showed how much you care about him/her, you couldn’t even be bothered to attend the birth”, was uttered.

Denise did not want her mother or her mother-in-law by her side, she wanted her husband.If I had not been present I am sure it would have been held against me, and I still think about this issue every time the debate raises its head. If Middlesex had had a game the club would have expected me to play for them.Undoubtedly, I would have.Yet I am glad I did not miss the births of Alexander and Bethan. I am pleased I was there for many reasons, but mainly because my wife wanted me to be there. Both my children, who are now 12 and 10, were born during the cricket season yet my wife, Denise, gave birth on days when I was not playing. Nobody would even mind if he took a couple of weeks off on paternity leave too.My views on the subject have changed since I retired from cricket in 2002 I was lucky because I did not have to make such a decision. Strauss has a responsible job and is an integral member of the England cricket team. But if he was doing anything but representing his country at sport nobody would give the decision a second thought.

It would be obvious, and he would be encouraged to join his wife, Ruth, and help her through a traumatic and stressful period of her life. Many others believe he is right to return home.
In some ways it is a strange controversy. There are many who feel the England opener should remain with his teammates and help them level a series in Pakistan. Denesh Ramdin, the wicketkeeper, hit 27 in a seventh -wicket partnership of 70..