A quick slam of the door a dash to the phone and security would be up in a second wielding batons and

A quick slam of the door, a dash to the phone and security would be up in a second, wielding batons and handguns. I would be thrown into a cell, still with no clothes, and left to rot a la Midnight Express.Worse still, what if a woman answered? The scream would wake the whole hotel. Everyone, including my colleagues, would see me in my shame being led off to have various appendages chopped off. And I know which one would be first.To untold relief, I had chosen correctly It was the room of David, a fellow actor He opened the door “Whaddya think you’re …” He too was naked We stood looking at each other. “David,” I said, after a while, “I’m in a bit of a pickle.” He collapsed, laughing uncontrollably, and I ran into his room asking whether he had clothes I could borrow.

But all his clothes were in the wash, and he could only loan me a pair of shorts and a fleece. A fleece? In Malaysia? I sauntered down to reception with a new-found confidence, and demurely asked to be let back into my room.After a few questions to establish my true identity, and not a few questioning looks as to my attire, the assistant manager took me back upstairs and let me in, with me carefully ignoring, yet shielding, the plant pot in the corridor. I explained that I must have been sleepwalking (which is difficult to get over in the mixture of sign language and pidgin English we ridiculously use when abroad).The show went well that week. But I’m sure on the opening night I saw a receptionist from the hotel in the audience, sniggering whenever I came on. One thing remains certain: someone on the 21st floor of a five-star hotel in Kuala Lumpur was lucky not to get “A little touch of Harry in the night”.Share your holiday nightmares by sending a 600-word account to: Holiday Disasters, Independent on Sunday, 1 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London, E14 5DL. E-mail: sundaytravel independent.co.uk.

A very nasty reaction to going on holiday

I always seem to end up catching the flu whenever I go away on holiday, which gives me quite a severe reaction This problem is even putting me off going on holiday. Have you got any suggestions about how I can avoid this happening to me in future?
Angela ClarkeCroydonDr Larry Goodyer replies: I am not sure what you mean by a “severe reaction” to influenza, but, probably, the worst outcome is a pneumonia that can, in some cases, prove fatal.It is also worth bearing in mind that a severe head cold and sore throat sometimes can be mistaken for influenza. If you are simply prone to colds when you go away, then, unfortunately, there is no easy solution. Some people suggest that high doses of vitamin C and zinc supplements help prevent colds, but there is no strong evidence for this.If you really are at risk of the complications of flu, then it would be worthwhile getting a jab from your doctor Otherwise, keep an eye on the news for local outbreaks. For example, I would avoid northern China, where problems have been caused by a very virulent strain of influenza A.